What can I do then, I wonder, about myself and others to make my life more interesting? Living at the cottage in Balm Beach is full of surprises and unexpected endings/beginnings but I have to wonder about what exactly makes my life interesting. Is it the people I meet? But once that happens all I do to get to know that person is tell stories about myself that have happened to me with people I already know. So what am I trying to do exactly? Prove that I am fun, exciting and a great person with my life and don’t actually need anyone new to have a good time? But then the inevitable comes up as to that the only time I truly have fun is when I’m meeting new people. The entire situation doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense but on the other hand makes everything I think complete.

And I’ve been trying to achieve the same thing every following year. It hasn’t worked. But I think I’ve finally figured it out. Every year, I try and recreate that amazing summer I had. And it wasn’t until a drunken evening last Friday that it was brought to my realization that the reason people have “the best summer of their life” is because it’s the best, not one of the best. There’s only supposed to be one, that’s what makes it the best, after all.

I dream about the July and August months all year in anticipation for the warm weather and happiness that will for sure ensue, I contemplate. Yet, over and over again, my dream gets shattered and I refuse to take a hint and give up on that feeling.

I think I finally have though. I’m done. I’m just going to live my life again as I did that fateful summer and perhaps that is what will get me the fun loving summer again. But I won’t count on it.
I remember coming home after work to an empty cottage, and not taking the opportunity to go out and I would just relax with myself and my journal. I would write and then disconnect the satellite and connect the VCR and do my twenty minute Yoga tapes. Yoga – I actually did that. Perhaps that’s where I lost my thirty pounds.

According to Lions Gate Television studio president Kevin Beggs:
“We’ve conceived this as a weekly series that reviews current events and pop culture in a populist way from the off-center perspective of two larger-than-life, outrageous, irreverent and endearing personalities, who don’t always agree,” Beggs said. “It will be informative yet entertaining. Just the thought of these two guys together makes you laugh.”

It took a year, but slowly, she came out of her shell, meeting new people and starting a new job. She talked to people as though nothing were wrong and with time, nothing was wrong. For once, she didn’t feel ugly. She didn’t feel unworthy. She didn’t feel disliked. She didn’t feel alone.

Just when she felt as though she had things under control and was at peace with herself, she met someone. Someone who didn’t know anything about her past and befriended her anyway. Someone who listened to her talk and smiled when she did. Someone who understood her. It was something she had never felt before.

He played with her mind, as she did with his and their relationship, or lack thereof, was tumultuous. Back and forth, back and forth for almost two years, until one day she got sick of it. She wrote a letter, declaring her anger, annoyed with his actions toward her. And she said she didn’t want to be his friend anymore. This scared him, he ran back to her, pleading and assuring that he didn’t know what he was thinking. He loved her, he declared. She believed him. And all was good. For a month. Then the back and forth actions began to happen again. And she became just as confused as before, if not more.

One more chance, she thought. And she wrote him one more letter. This time, stating her feelings and desire to be with him. Feeling confident, she gave it to him once he left for a short trip.

We’ve seen incredible footage from astronaut helmet cams while they repair the ISS and Discovery’s underbelly. We’ve heard moving tributes from the crew honouring their fallen colleagues. And we’ve felt with them the spirit of exploration that the astronauts speak of so affectionatly.

We couldn’t help but cringe while George Bush struggled through a few sentences to commend the crew for their work. But we chuckled as Commander Eileen Collins complimented George Bush’s home state of Texas where, of course, she knows Bush is currently taking a break from the White House.

Of all the acheivements of this mission, the most interesting to bloggers was no doubt when Mission Specialist Steve Robinson made history by recording the first podcast from space.

Because it’s not even her singing, and I have it on repeat.

The bar was located on the second floor of the hotel and when you walked into the bar, you felt like you just walked into another world. The bar had absolutely no lights. It just didn’t have any lights on, there were no lights in the room itself. They just had hundreds of candles lit all over the place. It wasn’t that big of a place. They had a decent size bar and a half dozen tables behind it. I chose the table in the back. I remember sitting there drinking waiting for her to arrive knowing exactly what was going to be said. It sucks when you know what is going to happen to you and there is not a damn thing you can do to change it.

I guess I’m ready again. Redesign & new thoughts about what I want to do with this. Expect more writing from me here beginning with this modest little announcement today.